Thursday, October 25, 2007

You Know You're a Mom When . . .

. . . you find out you don't know ANYTHING at all! Here are some of the things I have recently discovered I don't know.
(1) I don't know how to drive. I used to pride myself on the fact that I was a pretty darn good driver. I don't panic in ice and snow. I can get myself out of some interesting ice/snow/skidding types of situations with little to no adrenaline rush at all. The hubby even complemented me once on what a good job I did smoothly avoiding a car sliding around on the icy road in front of us (it was ice, no braking allowed). A driving complement from the hubby is tantamount to winning major driving awards - so I felt really good about that. However, now I find out from the four-year-olds that I can't drive myself out of a wet paper bag.
Munchkins: "Mom, the light is red!"
Me: "No it's not."
Munchkins: "Mom, you just went through a red light!!"
Me: "No I didn't! That red light was for the other lanes. I had a green arrow."
Munchkins: "It was red! We saw it!"
Me: "Okay, never mind."

Munchkins: "Mom, the light is yellow. You need to slow down."
Me: "It's a flashing yellow light on a sign saying a traffic light is coming up."
Munchkins: "Yellow light means slow down!"
Me: "Yeah, never mind."

Munchkin: "Mom, I want to drive home from school today. Give me the keys."
(Enough said.)

(2) I don't even know where we live, let alone how to get us there.
Munchkins: "Mom, this isn't the way home!"
Me: "How do you know? You're only four and can't drive."
Munchkins: "This is the wrong way. We have to go the other way."
Me: "We can get home this way too."
Munchkins: "No we can't!"
Me: "Okay, never mind."

(3) I am either really bad at coordinating outfits or I am color-blind.
Me: "Shelby, those aren't the pants I put out for you to wear. Please change them."
Shelby: "But these are green and they match my green shirt!"
Me: "Change those pants!"
(Shelby is wearing what appears to ME to be an olive green shirt with bright grass green springtime pants. Apparently I can't distinguish the colors correctly because she sees nothing wrong with this.)

Being a Mom must mean that I just get dumber every day.

Since I mentioned the Illinois Jaguar Club in my previous post I thought I would include a picture of my hubby's pride and joy. She is affectionately known as the "other woman".

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